her vagine was all disorganized.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
