i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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