Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
