you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
