That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
