I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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