Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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