my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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