You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
