Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
two words: eviction party
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Randomize
