You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
