they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Sext me about skeletons
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize