Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
