I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
