i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
