when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
