wanna go halves on a baby?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
