Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
