haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
