thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
