Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize