You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
