He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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