I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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