You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
