it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
