We named our party play list daddy issues
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
