Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
