Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
