rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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