speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
