You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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