I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
