shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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