Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
