Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize