she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
