I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
That accounts for only three of the penises
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
