how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It's blow job season.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
