Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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