So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
