Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize