let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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