i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize