Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
