You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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