omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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