We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
