we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
