I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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