The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
