So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
