Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
