Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
