We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
