Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
