Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
