I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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