you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
