Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
