I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
